"Hey, so, mage hand can lift something up to five pounds, and it only takes two pounds of force to smash someone’s nose into their skull, can I use it for that?"
we have all read fanfiction that we shouldn’t have
just a few favorite tags
just open up tag viewer on this post and settle in with a snack cause ain’t nobody sleeping tonight, friends
installing tag viewer for this was the best decision i ever made
This is amazing
And then we have this innocent soul:
Google is working on a new cell phone with detachable and replaceable parts, so you can upgrade and repair without ever having to buy a new phone again.
I live a Darcy appreciation life.
she’s so proud she tazed a god
she tazed a thunder/lightning god
Darcy is an international treasure
the fact that there have no leaked nudes in my dashboard proves that i’m following the right people
every class is art class if you dont care enough
Currently drinking: The best Butterbeer I have ever tasted.
“A scarlet steam engine was waiting next to a platform packed with people. A sign overhead said Hogwarts Express, eleven o’clock. Harry looked behind him and saw a wrought-iron archway where the barrier had been, with the words Platform Nine and Three-Quarters on it.
Smoke from the engine drifted over the heads of the chattering crowd, while cats of every color wound here and there between their legs. Owls hooted to one another in a disgruntled sort of way over the babble and the scraping of heavy trunks.”Happy September 1st, y’all!
SNAPE WEEK | Day 1: Favourite Quote
Snape’s breathing was shallow. “Her boy survives,” said Dumbledore. With a tiny jerk of the head, Snape seemed to flick off an irksome fly. “Her son lives. He has her eyes, precisely her eyes. You remember the shape and colour of Lily Evans’s eyes, I am sure?” “DON’T!” bellowed Snape. “Gone…dead…” “Is this remorse, Severus?” “I wish…I wish I were dead…”
(during a munchkin game, the thief keeps stealing items from other players)
Priest: Why do you keep stealing stuff you can’t even USE for your class?!
Thief: I do not steal for me, I simply steal so you cannot have it. *manic giggling* It gives me great pleasure.
DM: So in the tavern you’ll find…
PC: 29 Perception to find the richest and most drunk person!
PC: *Proceeds to sell a 20gp bottle of wine for 130gp*
One time in sixth grade I was being bullied really badly, and this whole circle of people gathered around me and the girl that was bullying me, and she smirked and went ‘You dumb rich bitch.’ And everyone was like OOOOOOH and I stood there for a second before pulling 20 dollars out of my wallet, placed it in her hand, and said “Buy some better insults.” And I swear the entire lunchroom rioted.
THE FACT THAT THE AMERICAN PEDIATRIC SOCIETY TOLD AMERICAN SCHOOL SYSTEMS THAT TEENS SHOULD NOT BE UP BEFORE 8:30 AND ONLY 15% OF SCHOOLS LISTENED ANGERS ME SO MUCH